Follow His Lead

Photo by Circling Sea on Unsplash

“Jesus, help me to simplify my life by learning what you want me to be, and becoming that person.” -St. Therese of Lisieux

There is so much pressure and noise telling us what we should do and who we should be. Whether it is on social media or in books and posts written by “experts”. Sometimes that noise can even come from the church. From christian culture. A lot of it is false doctrine that has been added to christianity and we are manipulated to believe if we follow it we will be “good christians.” I think Jesus desires to strip all that away and show us who He really is - not the Jesus who christian culture has created but the real Jesus of the Bible.

The past few years I have been on a faith journey. Deconstructing what I was taught as a kid growing up in church culture and shedding the excess layers that don’t feel genuine, that don’t feel like me or most importantly- like HIM. I have felt in opposition to other christians and christian culture many times throughout my life. I don’t feel that I fit into the “box” of christianity and have even asked God “Can I even be a follower of Jesus since I don’t feel like I fit in with other christians?” And I think his resounding answer is “YES.” Jesus is notorious in the Bible for embracing the people who were different, marginalized, and even social outcasts. What I have come to discover is that Jesus invites us to ask these questions. He wants us to seek and question WITH HIM. It’s okay to have doubts and questions and from my personal experience it usually ends up building a stronger faith foundation at the end of all that questioning. In conversation with my kindred-spirit friend the other day she said this, “I’ve found that Jesus always invites me to let Him into my thoughts, feelings, and actions. He wants in..and is gentle with me. He knows fear and shame never have felt inviting so when I feel those emotions, I lay them before Him and ask Him to reconstruct it. I really love the Lord and his teachings and question with Him and I find it all so Holy and magical.”

I love that, and she’s so right. In complete truth, there is a lot about christian culture that really angers me- like corruption and legalism, the purity culture myth, spiritual abuse, and deep rooted misogyny. Sometimes I feel like I just want to follow Jesus without being called a christian. There is a lot of hurt, confusion and negativity associated with that term. I recently felt the Holy Spirit say to my heart, “Do not drift from Me just because the people who claim to know Me represent Me so poorly.” Wow, that’s profound.

We haven’t been going to church on Sundays for years, I believe in women in leadership in the church, and I find community and serve and share Jesus differently than how the church tells me I should. I swear sometimes and have a glass of wine every now and then. I am most happy and free living in my own little world. And, American christian culture annoys me to no end. So, maybe I am a spiritual misfit. I know Jesus loves me as I am, and He is on this journey with me. I know I must stay yielded to Him, and as I do, He is slowly transforming me to be like Him.

I pray St. Therese of Lisieux’s quote often, “Jesus help me to simplify my life by learning what you want me to be, and becoming that person.” That quote can apply to each and every area of our life but spiritually I think it means letting go and leaving behind the pressures that others put on us to fit into a category or box and embrace who Jesus is truly leading us to be. Maybe He needs us to shed the culture that we know and find familiar in order to understand His true nature more clearly. You may experience some raised eyebrows and shaking heads. Disapproval always comes when people decide to follow the road less traveled rather than stay on the popular path. People often reject the unfamiliar. Personally, I could care less. My life is not lived so that I may have others approval. My life’s purpose is to know and love Jesus deeply and to follow His leading along with my own internal compass and convictions freely. My hope for you is that you have courage to do the same.